Ch. 7: Breakdowns and Normalcy

Dusty & Terry
Chapter Seven: Breakdowns and Normalcy?

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Dusty

I wasn't in my right mind, I can tell you that. Though some part of me really enjoyed being in the wrong mind. If anyone were to ask, not that they would, I shot Muncy to help her - to take her from her misery. But that isn't the whole truth.  We'll not get into that, though.

Shame washed over me when I saw how terrified Terry was of me, it made my skin crawl - the way he looked at me..like I was a freak or something. Which, I suppose he had every right to think after my little display.  I felt the smile tug at my lips; maybe to reassure him as I took a few steps closer and patted Soul, ruffling the fur atop his head. But my heart wasn't in it, even as I praised him softly,

"Good pup," I barely felt the words leaving my lips as I turned right back around and made a slow trip back to Muncy and the mangled Infected..or Intelligent Infected, maybe that's what I should've called him. Whatever the fuck he was, it was smart. That didn't add up, but what the fuck ever. I put a bullet between Muncy's eyes without flinching, I wasn't risking her popping up from the dead and attacking. Fuck. That.  When I turned around I finally really saw Terry, he looked horrible and incredibly terrified - that's when the guilt set in.

"Sorry, man..got a little.." I started, rubbing my neck uncomfortably. I wanted him to stop looking at me like that, it made me feel a lot worse about what I'd just done -about how much I'd actually enjoyed it-.  I could feel bits of blood and hair and other revolting things clinging to my skin here and there, but I couldn't be bothered with it right then. "Guess we should..like, go get our stuff, yeah?" Was all I could manage to choke out, walking around the small, musty attic for something to cover the bodies with. It didn't take very long before both Muncy and the crazy old man were covered by a dirty old sheet that might've been white at one time.

"I say we never come to the attic again." I almost whispered, unable to tear my eyes from that fucking sheet. It was already turning a dark red thanks to the bodies underneath it. And the longer I stared at it the more I felt like I was coming completely off my rocker. I shuddered a bit and screwed my eyes tightly shut. I almost didn't hear Terry finally speak up over my own fucked up thoughts.

"Agreed.."

My heart plummeted when he turned out the light and I was eager to get out, and I'm sure the light from the hall below the attic was one Hell of a relief to Terry, too, when it came into view.  He was the first out of the attic, then Soul came close behind, I closed the attic hatch and re-locked it behind me. It was the least I could do to make us feel safe. For a long time the only thing besides each other we had for company was the thick silence over our heads, so when Terry suddenly started to laugh - Hell..I nearly jumped right out of my skin, turning to look at him. Because the laughs weren't little chuckles or snickers or anything, he was just laughing. And pretty hard, at that, looking and sounding like a total nut-case. I wouldn't admit it, but his little breakdown scared me shitless. At the same time, it relieved me and I found myself watching him sadly. It didn't take long before my best friend was on his knees, laughing so hard tears were welling up in his eyes.

Poor Soul looked at a loss as he tried to figure out why his master was a fucking psycho, but when the poor animal whimpered and tilted his head at Terry, that had him laughing even harder. I was growing more and more worried that he wasn't going to recover from this, that he'd just laugh until there was no air left in his lungs and he'd leave Soul and I with the ringing of his insane fucking break-down as a memory. I finally managed to move -not even realizing how frozen I was in the first place since the start of his laughing fit- and eased down on one knee, my hand finding its way onto Terry's head in what I hoped was a comforting manner.

"At least I ain't the only one snapping here," Was the best I could come up with as I watched him shaking and shudering, laughing wildly all the same, so I tried again as I spared a glance to Soul, "We're crazy, ain't we boy?" It was to the dog, but if Terry responded, Hell..what'd it matter anyway? When he didn't I found myself staring him down, sighing in defeat. "You gonna be alright, man?"

It took a while, but finally he calmed down, wiping at his eyes and sniffling as he caught his breath, "Fuck..yeah, man. I'll be alright, I didn't mean to go all..crazy. I'm supposed to be the one keeping our sanity here," I could've laughed at that, but I didn't want to upset him - it wasn't like either of us were going to stay sane for long in this fucked place. I didn't hold him responsible to keep his head on right when I let mine roll earlier in a less healthy way than just laughter. There was a quiet chuckle before he was completely done laughing, "Let's get the fuck on and get our stuff already, yeah? I've done held us up long enough," I sighed and took the lead as he patted Soul comfortingly.

Though I couldn't help the small grin that tugged at my lips, I had to tease him, it just made life seem a little more normal..a little easier to handle, "If it helps, I thought your laughing fit was pretty fuckin' funny," or pretty fuckin' terrifying..but what's the difference? I smiled as best I could, "I mean, a couple times you kinda squealed like a girl." I knew that would get him riled up as he was so often teased about his feminity.  I refused to think of the attic and what was above us; though I had to stop the fleeting thought of their blood seeping through the old boards and touching us. It made me want a shower. I felt my skin crawl before Terry mercifully pulled me from my fucked up thoughts.

He gave me a decently hard punch to the shoulder, which I definitely deserved, and gave me a simple, "Shut up," Like old times and it made me feel at least a little bit better..Then I caught Soul giving us this funny look - don't ask me how a dog manages it, but that look was definitely telling us to knock it off, I swear. Then he trotted along ahead of us impatiently and I had to smirk at Terry chiding me along, "Come on you moronic short ass, before Soul drags both of us, so we can finish bringin' our supplies inside," He laughed and I didn't realize how much a normal laugh meant to me from him until that moment.

"Hey, I may be short and moronic, but I deplore being called an ass. I always thought I was more like..an elbow or a face, something more...attractive to look at. But hey, a lot of people do like looking at asses, so maybe that's a compliment?" I couldn't even miss the opportunity to be a smart ass, to be me. It made this whole situation so, so much easier. Then I had to go and open my dumb fucking mouth. "How is it, after all this, we still have an over-protective, possessive, controlling mother on our hands?"

As soon as the words were out in the air, I regretted them, looking to my friend with anxious eyes, wondering if he'd snap again. Would he? Would I? I shuddered and hugged myself tight for a moment, losing the ability to look at him for a few moments, but then I was all eyes and trying to decipher if he'd lose it over that comment or not. If it hurt him, because God only knows how badly I didn't want to hurt him, especially right now.

Though, I felt a little at ease when he smacked me upside the head and chuckled, "Fuckin' smartass," but his face dropped -if only for a second.

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Terry


Despite myself, that comment hit a little closer to home than I liked. It sent me into deep, dark places I shouldn't have gone, thoughts about my mom, and the kids... I missed all of them, and for a brief moment I saw that horrific scene all over again, the babies eating the older ones. It turned knots in my stomach and I felt sick, but I knew Dusty hadn't meant anything by it. So I did my best to slap on a smile, it wasn't like I was the only one who had lost here. Still, I felt tired and worn. "I suppose he has to be some type of useful right?" I asked, trying to give it a little more feeling than the gloom my voice held. Funny, though, Soul tilted his head and made a noise, as if trying to decide whether to take what I had said as an insult. I cocked a brow and glanced at the dog, more than happy to welcome something else to think about. "I swear boy, if you could talk you'd be on our level wouldn'tcha?"

Dusty looked so guilty. He slumped his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor. "Yeah, you got a point there, that's one fuckin' smart dog. He makes me feel dumb," he mumbled, chuckling lowly. I gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, just to let him know it was okay, that I didn't hold anything against him, and we set out to carry our supplies inside. Now that I think about it, I have no idea why I went along with that when there were two dead bodies in the attic. But at the time, I left all the thinking to Dusty, because apparently I was too good for that.

Dragging the food inside wasn't really my idea of an interesting activity. If anything, it was more a numb robotic procedure for the most part, pulling the wagons out and stacking cans and shit in them. Soul felt left out, so I told him to go sit at the gate and watch out for zombies. Which, I didn't really expect him to, but that damn dog almost looked like he nodded and trotted over to the gate, plopping his rear down, ears errect and ever watchful. And there he remained, until Dust and I had the last of the supplies in the wagons, weapons at the ready, hauling them inside. I hadn't noticed, but while we'd been carrying in wagonload by wagonload, the sky had darkened, and I looked up as a few droplets of water sprinkled on us, warning of the oncoming rain. I whistled for the dog and looked at Dusty, a small grin tugging on my face. "I guess some natural things still gotta go on, huh?"

He laughed and ran a hand through his hair, already damp with water. "Feels kinda weird, don't it? Draggin groceries inside, gettin caught in the rain, it almost feels..normal. Don't it?"

I chuckled in response. "Yeah, it kinda does." I didn't admit that talking about it had me down again, thinking about the kids.. Sure, we'd bring in groceries at his house too, but it was always often that me and my sibs had to bring in plastic Wal*Mart bags right when it began to rain. Luckily, a low grunt came from Dusty's direction, and I didn't dwell on the thought any longer, instead giving him my full attention.

He looked up at the sky in thought for a moment. "You know..I been thinkin..you don't reckon.." I anxiously waited for him to continue, but instead he bit his lip and sighed. "Ah, nevermind. I'm starvin'," he said, quickly changing the subject, his stomach growling for added effect.

It nagged at me, wanting to know what was on his mind. "I don't reckon what?" I asked, despite the fact that my own stomach began to growl with his, making me realize I was just as hungry. But I wanted Dust to trust me, to tell me whatever he was thinking.

"We'll talk about it once we get fed, yeah? I'm cold and hungry and tired, we need some serious munching time, man." He yawned and rubbed his neck, and I noticed that he did look tired. Hell, I was too. This was too much shit in one damn day to try and process without rest. "Deal?" he asked, opening the door and allowing me and my dog in, before looking around and closing it behind himself. I didn't like agreeing, but I decided best to clear our heads with a little nourishment on the side, before we went into an in-depth conversation, which I felt was soon in coming.

That wasn't the first...and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Ya think this is the end of the world?"